Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
