Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
