his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
