i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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