that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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