What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
