matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
