Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
