.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
