Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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