everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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