We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
