Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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