brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
