so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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