Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
