Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
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