then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My vagina just recognized that song.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
