I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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