I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
