This girl is more easily done than said...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize