vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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