your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
