Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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