drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize