Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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