Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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