we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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