I have demons in me.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
