One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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