hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
