I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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