it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize