So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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