420 ftw
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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