You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
