So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How does one acquire holy water?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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