I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
