literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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