Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
4 words: hood of his car
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
