it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
