Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
