Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
