i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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