I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
