GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
