no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
