I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
