it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
