I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
