Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
