Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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