You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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