brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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