If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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