Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
