Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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