I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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