For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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