i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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