ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize