you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
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