I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
