'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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