I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
