dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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