how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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