do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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