i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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