I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
