we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
