isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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