PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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