Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
