Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My vagina is officially offended.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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