i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
