Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
