we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
