Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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